So You Want To Get A Job?

The company I work for frequently gets walk-ins who are looking for a job. With these people in mind, I have put together a helpful list of items/pitfalls to avoid that potential job applicants might find useful.

1. Be sober. Don't come looking for a job application when you are drunk or high. Especially if you come in at 8 in the morning. If you can't be 100% sober, at least don't use whiskey as a mouth wash. If I feel like I'm getting a contact high from the fumes emanating from your body, your application will be shredded as soon as you leave the office.
2. Wear shoes. Now, I know you CAN wear bedroom slippers outside of your home when they have some sort of substantial soles, but it doesn't mean you should. 
3. Know what the company does. For example, I work for a landscape company. We don't have any job openings for waiters.
4. Don't bring your Mom in to fill out your application. If you can't put your name and phone number on a piece of paper without Mom's help, we won't be trusting you with big pieces of machinery with sharp blades.
5. (Maybe 4a?) Mom is not your best choice for a reference. But, surprisingly, your Probation Officer is a good choice.
6. Don't complain about how long it took you to get to the office. You'll be starting and ending each work day at this office, so if it bothers you so much, find someplace closer to your house to apply.
7. Don't complain about how hot you got just walking down the street. This is a labor intensive job, done OUTSIDE. You don't like the heat, move to another state. 
8. If you must bring your children along to pick up an application, at least be in control of them. Don't let them wander around the office unsupervised or let them trash the bathroom. 
9. You might think your hat with a pot leaf on it is a good look. It's not.
10. Don't have a phone argument while you're sitting in the waiting area. Calling someone on the phone a "crazy bitch" and yelling other obscenities at her isn't giving us the best opinion of you. 

This list shouldn't be considered the be all, end all of all How To Get A Job blogs, but I'd like to think it's been helpful in just a little way. 

Not Really A Single Parent (But It Feels Like It)

My husband is a chef. He's been in kitchens since he was 14. It's the only job he's ever done in his life, and so far seems to be the only job he'll ever do. From the first time we even got together (at the ripe old age of 17) I knew that we wouldn't be one of those couples who would be home at the same time for most of the week. I was fine with that- I'm one of those people who likes to be alone at times and I thrive on setting myself in a regular routine. Up until 2009, my husband worked at stand alone restaurants or in the hotel industry. This meant that nights, weekends and holidays it was pretty much a lock that he'd be working and I'd be home alone with the kids. Again, I knew this when I signed up for the gig as wife of a chef.

In 2009, this changed. He went into corporate dining (for privacy's sake, I won't mention the name, but it's a big company). This meant a bigger salary, better benefits, and supposedly "more family time." As in, in theory, he works Monday-Friday, 6:00 AM to 5:00 PM (pretty normal hours for a corporate chef). In practice he works from 5:30 AM until 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, or even 9:00 at night. I would be fine with this if there was some sort of consistency. There's nothing worse in not knowing when he's going to be coming home. It sets the kids off- they always ask "when will Dad be home?" Sometimes he's home for dinner, sometimes he makes it home for goodnight stories and other times he doesn't get home until they are already asleep. In a way, I would rather he not be home until after they are in bed all the time. We have a routine, and when he comes home randomly, it just screws with the routine.

We had a talk about this issue this week. I honestly told him that I need him to be more consistent. And if he was going to be home after 6:30 but before 8:00, he should delay until after 8:00. This didn't go over well. But honestly, I can't deal with it. Dinner to Bedtime is awful in our house. Adding him to the mix randomly doesn't work.