Monday, May 20, 2013

Is There An Emoticon for Slightly Homicidal?

I had a quick trip this weekend to Massachusetts. Left on Thursday night, came home to Phoenix on Sunday night. After yesterday's flight I was feeling slightly homicidal. I had to go into the airport an hour early, because my aunt's flight was an hour before mine, and it wouldn't be fair to my parents to make them do the Logan drive twice. That wasn't so bad- hung out at Boston Beer Works, and watched the hockey game.

Then, I get on the plane. I'm next to this Alzheimer's patient and her caregiver. The patient is freaking out about something, and proceeded to have loud verbal outbursts and panic attacks the entire flight. Honestly, it was really bad. And, this was their return trip home to Phoenix. This woman was in no shape to be flying, and whoever ok'd the flight in the first place screwed up. Noise cancelling headphones can only do so much.

Behind me was a very tall man. I couldn't put my seat back, because of his legs. No big deal. He asked me nicely, I complied. However, that didn't stop him from digging his knees into the back of my seat every 15-20 minutes during the last two hours of the flight. Somewhere over Colorado I turned around to him and called him out on it. Then when he wouldn't stop, I got passive aggressive and pushed back against him whenever he moved his knees. We're probably both bruised this morning, and I know that had I been a man and a foot taller, he probably would have punched me outside of the airport. As it was he called me a bitch and I told him to fuck off at the luggage carousel.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy I was able to get back for the weekend, but damn, I'm sore and tired this morning!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Kid's Writing Prompt

My kindergartener's teacher does a daily writing prompt with them, just to have them get in the habit of writing sentences. I got the April booklet home yesterday, and I was looking at them with my daughter. My favorite was "If I Won a Lot of Money." Avery's response was classic Avery:

If i wone alot of mony i wold bue a car. Becus mom is meen and wont bue me a car.
Translation: If I won a lot of money, I would buy a car. Because Mom is mean and won't buy me a car.

Avery is 5. We've not yet had the car discussion with her. I don't know where her response came from. I clarified with her that she meant a car to drive, not a play car. So, she still has 11 years before that happens. My husband and I died laughing at this one. The logic and scheming of this child is frightening. She will probably rule the world one day.