Summer Vacation

All right- so the vacation

Seattle- you can tell there's lots of tech money in the area, as Frank put it "lots of chicks that rate an 8 or a 9 walking around with guys who rate a 3 or a 4" and the good looking guys were gay.- We went out for sushi with Adam. Went down to Pike Street market (watched the fish throwing), ate street food, and went to a Sox game- one they actually won! Drank a LOT. A city with a very high opinion of itself. Never have I seen so many dietary specialty items for regular purchase- it seemed like everything was "Gluten Free, Vegan, Soy Free and Tree Nut Free."

Train from Seattle to Portland- 3 hours. I was motion sick for most of it. Highlight was watching the couple on the other side of the aisle proceed to get wasted drinking Dewars and Root Beer- from a vintage suitcase they had turned into a portable bar. The girl of the couple wound up yelling at some chick who kept getting on her phone and whining to her parents, yelled something along the lines of "Can't you fucking read? There's no cell phone use in here." She was a sloshy mess when she yelled, so it was awesome.

Portland- Grittier than Seattle. Like if you took Providence RI and Fall River MA and squished them together to make one city. Industrial, lots of bridges. Good food scene. I could live there. There's a hippie vibe that was absent from both Seattle and San Francisco. A grid city, which was comforting.

Oregon Coast- gorgeous! Seriously the most breathtaking scenery I've ever seen. Pine rain forests with virgin growth pine trees that are 400+ years old and 50+ feet tall. The waves were crazy, and that's apparently just how they are. We went to Astoria so Frank could see the Goonies house (on his bucket list). We bought a $1 CD tour and listened to it for hours (because we couldn't get any radio station that was worth listening to in the rental). This is also when I figured out that Frank was totally lying to me about how long the damn drive would be from Portland to San Francisco- he totally undersold it to me by 300 miles. Also went to Tillamook for the tour- stupid except for the all-you-can-eat cheese samples.

Drive from Portland to Davis CA (home of UC Davis)- I gave up. We made it to an hour from Napa when he started to fall asleep at the wheel. Did our laundry- college towns are good for something. Had beer and pizza in a bar, left for Napa early. Long ass drive. Like 10 hours of boring. Mt Shasta has snow on it year round was about the only thing I found interesting.

Napa- Yeah, touristy in places. Gotta pick the good wineries, even if they charge more for a tasting, because the wines are hard to find out of state. We did Grigich Hills and Keenan wineries. Grigich poured us a glass of dessert wine that retails for $85 for a split (the small bottle 2.5 glasses), as part of our $20 per person tour- on top of the other 5 wines we were poured. Good value for the money. Driving through the town itself sucks- so do it once and be done- pick out your wineries so you move out from the center of town against the traffic.

San Francisco- By this time I was just exhausted. We did the piers, saw the sea lions, went to the chocolate factory, rode the cable car, walked through Chinatown, and everything. As a result, instead of getting up early on Saturday to spend a few extra hours in the city, we slept through our wake up, and didn't get to go back downtown. Flew out of SFO, and got home to a cat who missed us greatly.

This was probably the last of our expensive "just us" vacations for a few years. We have to go to Disney next year for sure (Land, not World), and we want to do an Alaska cruise, but we'll take the kids on that. That will fill up our next few years.

In Which We Decide, as a Couple, to be A-Holes

A certain family member is getting married this Memorial Day weekend. My husband is in the wedding, I am just a guest at this wedding. My husband is only an usher in this wedding, so not a job that requires a lot of training- he's been an usher before, he knows how to ushe. So, anyways, this wedding is turning from a Wedding Day into a a Long Weekend Wedding Event. Husband is not happy about this. As a result, in a moment of rebellion, we have purchased sports tickets for the Friday before the wedding. This is rumored to be the night of the bachelor party. A party that my husband has no interest in attending (because this party most certainly will not feature breasts that aren't mine or excessive drinking, instead this is to be a night of cosmic bowling, video games and pitchers of cheap beer split 6 ways). The bride, as this is HER WEDDING, is rumored to be furious that we are not attending all events of this weekend. But truthfully, I don't care.

Not Really A Single Parent (But It Feels Like It)

My husband is a chef. He's been in kitchens since he was 14. It's the only job he's ever done in his life, and so far seems to be the only job he'll ever do. From the first time we even got together (at the ripe old age of 17) I knew that we wouldn't be one of those couples who would be home at the same time for most of the week. I was fine with that- I'm one of those people who likes to be alone at times and I thrive on setting myself in a regular routine. Up until 2009, my husband worked at stand alone restaurants or in the hotel industry. This meant that nights, weekends and holidays it was pretty much a lock that he'd be working and I'd be home alone with the kids. Again, I knew this when I signed up for the gig as wife of a chef.

In 2009, this changed. He went into corporate dining (for privacy's sake, I won't mention the name, but it's a big company). This meant a bigger salary, better benefits, and supposedly "more family time." As in, in theory, he works Monday-Friday, 6:00 AM to 5:00 PM (pretty normal hours for a corporate chef). In practice he works from 5:30 AM until 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, or even 9:00 at night. I would be fine with this if there was some sort of consistency. There's nothing worse in not knowing when he's going to be coming home. It sets the kids off- they always ask "when will Dad be home?" Sometimes he's home for dinner, sometimes he makes it home for goodnight stories and other times he doesn't get home until they are already asleep. In a way, I would rather he not be home until after they are in bed all the time. We have a routine, and when he comes home randomly, it just screws with the routine.

We had a talk about this issue this week. I honestly told him that I need him to be more consistent. And if he was going to be home after 6:30 but before 8:00, he should delay until after 8:00. This didn't go over well. But honestly, I can't deal with it. Dinner to Bedtime is awful in our house. Adding him to the mix randomly doesn't work.

A to Z about Me!

I feel the need to stretch my writing muscles- too much reading, little to no writing. I'm also bad at just picking a random thing and going with it (and truthfully, my kids aren't that interesting right now so I can't imagine boring people with the trials and tribulations of 1st and 3rd grade homework gone awry).

So, to re-boot an old internet meme- I present the

A to Z


A. Age: 33

B. Bed size: Queen. It works for us. Neither of us is very large, and it discourages the children from camping in with us.

C. Chore that you hate: The stupid dishes. Why can't we just eat out of the pots and pans? Or eat everything off of tortillas? Those Mayans had the right idea.

D. Dogs: None. Just don't have the time, not that I'm anti-dog.

E. Essential start to your day: A shower without any interruptions- I will not settle arguments, tie shoes or pour you a drink while I'm in the shower. The door has a lock for a reason- yelling through it or sticking your fingers underneath it will not help your cause.

F. Favorite color: Blue

G. Gold or silver: Silver

H. Height: 5' 4"- the average height of an American Woman

I. Instruments that you play: I took years of piano, played the sax in elementary school, but I don't think any of it has stuck around in my brain

J. Job title: Office Manager (fancy way of saying "Doing the shit in the office that no one else wants to do, in order to keep the place running)

K. Kids: Adeline- almost 9, Anaya- 7, Avery- 4.5 (my girls are fantastic, most of the time)

L. Live: Phoenix Metro area

M. Mother's name: Ma

N. Nicknames: KB, Rah

O. Overnight hospital stays: 3 births- all c-sections (one emergency, the other two scheduled, because, if I already had the scar tissue, I sure as hell wasn't pushing a baby out of my vagina by choice)

P. Pet peeves: People opening cabinets and not closing them. How fricking difficult is it to close the damn door???

Q. Quote from a movie: She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen. (Say Anything)

R: Right or left handed: Right

S: Siblings: 2 younger brothers, 1 younger sister

T. Treat you adore: A really cold, strong margarita while sitting poolside. Or my Mom's apple pie

U. Underwear: cotton

V. Vegetable(s) you hate: Peas, cabbage, broccoli

W. What makes you run late: Getting everyone out the door on time is almost impossible. I pad my time by trying to leave 30 minutes before I actually need to do so.

X. X-rays you've had: Arm- fell down the stairs and my elbow swelled up, turns out it was just a bone bruise. Teeth and jaw at the dentist- one of those cool ones that go all the way around your head

Y. Yummy food that you make: I'm a pretty damned good cook. Pork carnitas. Apple pie. Chocolate chip cookies. Quiche. Risotto. I know my way around the kitchen, and I'm not ashamed to say so.

Z. Zoo animal: Otters. The monkeys with the red butts. Hippos. Zoos are awesome. Unless you go with my husband who walks around with you telling you exactly how he'd cook a specific animal and what he thinks it tastes like.

Things that are Older Than Arizona

Today, Arizona celebrates 100 years of statehood. Congratulations Arizona, for being the 48th state, the last to be admitted into the contiguous States of the Union. I suppose the reason why it took so long is that no one really wanted Arizona. I mean, sure, we were willing to give the land to the Native Americans after we forced them off their tribal lands, but actual statehood? Come on now. So, in honor of this milestone, I've put together a list of Things that are Older Than Arizona

1. My hometown- Weymouth, MA- settled in 1630, incorporated in 1635. Way older than Arizona.
2. The Boston Red Sox- established in 1901 (named the Red Sox in 1908)
3. Anne of Green Gables novels- published in 1908, arguably the first "young adult" novels written
4. Boy Scouts of America- established 1910
5. Crayola Crayons- 1885
6. Theory of Relativity- 1905
7. Vaccines- 1796
8. Groundhog's Day- 1886
9. Methuselah- a Great Basin Bristlecone Pine Tree in California- 4,843 years old, still living
10. George the Lobster- born 1896, released back into the wild in 2009, presumed to still be living

Obviously this list is not all inclusive. Many other things are older than 100 years old.

This "Church" is Wacky

'Nuff said.

Things My Kids Sing

Remember this gem of a song from the 1990's?

We listen to 90's on 9 almost every morning waiting for the bus. As a result, my 4 year old went off to Preschool singing "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. But only the line that goes "If you wanna be my lover" which was absolutely inappropriate, but hilarious at the same time. And, she was on loop, so it was the same line over and over and over again. "Mama, I love this song!" she told me.