Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Strange and Vivid Dreams
Last night I dreamed it was raining eggs, and no one except me thought it was
strange. They were all like "don't you realize this means we don't have
to buy eggs anymore?"
Monday, September 17, 2012
All About Me Prompt
This is from some blogger Crappy Day Present thing, and while I'm not participating in that, I actually like the prompts enough to fill them out. So, read and learn people, read and learn about how fabulous I am.
What is your dream job?
That person who works for a literary agent who's sole job is to read manuscripts and see if they're good or pieces of crap. I want to be paid to read.
If you had 1,000,000 dollars to give away, how would you do it?
Stay local with my choices. Give to the kids' school system. Donate a bunch of technology to the school, give each teacher $1000 for classroom stuff, donate to Planned Parenthood and The Florence Crittendon foundation.
Under what circumstances would you adopt a child?
Adoption isn't my thing. The only kids I'd be willing to adopt would be nieces and nephews who's biological parents can no longer care for.
Why were you given your name?
My last name was really long, so my parents wanted a short first name- 5 letters or shorter. My name came from a baby naming book, and my parents both agreed on it.
What was the last national park you visited?
We went to Louis & Clark National Historical Park over the summer. It was pretty.
What was the first thing you learned to cook?
Scrambled eggs
What book can you read over and over again?
It used to be From The Mixed Up Files of Mrs Basil E Frankweiler, but recently, it's been Ready Player One. Ready Player One is such an amazing book, I love it.
What makes you feel young?
The way my husband looks at me sometimes. It makes me feel 17 again.
Did you ever work at an on campus job? What was it?
No joke, I did week night security at the campus center. Basically I walked around the building and made sure people weren't having sex anywhere, and calling the campus bus for drunk girls who didn't know how to get home. In exchange for this, I got a coveted garage parking pass for free, plus a plush salary of less than minimum wage. Really I was in it for the parking pass.
If you needed someone to act as a character reference for you who would you chose?
My BFF
What was the first concert you went to see?
The Green Day free show in 1994 at the Hatch when there was rioting in the audience. Awesome times.
Who is someone from your past that you are sorry you lost track of?
Some of my friends from college, who just seem to have disappeared.
If you could see 24 hours into the future what would you do with this ability?
Solve problems at work before they began.
If you had it to do over again what would you study in school?
I'd go into teaching. As much as I like the salary I make right now, I HATE working in the summers while all of my teacher friends get to hang with their kids on the beach.
What do you know how to say in a foreign language?
"Two beers please" and "Where is the bathroom?" Also "Where is the library?" and "My name is Louisa and I am from San Antonio." (except my name isn't Louisa, and I'm not from San Antonio)
What is your all time favorite joke?
Why is the graveyard so popular? People are just DYING to get in there. (my kids tell me this all the time, it's a family classic)
What was your first paying job?
Counter girl at CVS
What is the strangest food you have ever eaten?
The husband is a chef. When we go out, he is often recognized by other chefs in the business, who then go out of their way to impress us by sending out "specials." I've eaten just about everything- eel, soft shell crabs (eaten whole, in the shell, deep fried), sweetbreads (not what you think it is), corn smut, goat, and various organs and parts of animals that normal people don't eat. The husband makes me try everything and tells me to just not smell certain things.
What in your life is more important than money?
My family (sigh, cheesy answer I know)
When was the first time you saw the ocean?
I was born in a town that's on the Atlantic. Chances are good we drove by it on my way home from the hospital. I didn't see the Pacific until 2001.
What is your dream job?
That person who works for a literary agent who's sole job is to read manuscripts and see if they're good or pieces of crap. I want to be paid to read.
If you had 1,000,000 dollars to give away, how would you do it?
Stay local with my choices. Give to the kids' school system. Donate a bunch of technology to the school, give each teacher $1000 for classroom stuff, donate to Planned Parenthood and The Florence Crittendon foundation.
Under what circumstances would you adopt a child?
Adoption isn't my thing. The only kids I'd be willing to adopt would be nieces and nephews who's biological parents can no longer care for.
Why were you given your name?
My last name was really long, so my parents wanted a short first name- 5 letters or shorter. My name came from a baby naming book, and my parents both agreed on it.
What was the last national park you visited?
We went to Louis & Clark National Historical Park over the summer. It was pretty.
What was the first thing you learned to cook?
Scrambled eggs
What book can you read over and over again?
It used to be From The Mixed Up Files of Mrs Basil E Frankweiler, but recently, it's been Ready Player One. Ready Player One is such an amazing book, I love it.
What makes you feel young?
The way my husband looks at me sometimes. It makes me feel 17 again.
Did you ever work at an on campus job? What was it?
No joke, I did week night security at the campus center. Basically I walked around the building and made sure people weren't having sex anywhere, and calling the campus bus for drunk girls who didn't know how to get home. In exchange for this, I got a coveted garage parking pass for free, plus a plush salary of less than minimum wage. Really I was in it for the parking pass.
If you needed someone to act as a character reference for you who would you chose?
My BFF
What was the first concert you went to see?
The Green Day free show in 1994 at the Hatch when there was rioting in the audience. Awesome times.
Who is someone from your past that you are sorry you lost track of?
Some of my friends from college, who just seem to have disappeared.
If you could see 24 hours into the future what would you do with this ability?
Solve problems at work before they began.
If you had it to do over again what would you study in school?
I'd go into teaching. As much as I like the salary I make right now, I HATE working in the summers while all of my teacher friends get to hang with their kids on the beach.
What do you know how to say in a foreign language?
"Two beers please" and "Where is the bathroom?" Also "Where is the library?" and "My name is Louisa and I am from San Antonio." (except my name isn't Louisa, and I'm not from San Antonio)
What is your all time favorite joke?
Why is the graveyard so popular? People are just DYING to get in there. (my kids tell me this all the time, it's a family classic)
What was your first paying job?
Counter girl at CVS
What is the strangest food you have ever eaten?
The husband is a chef. When we go out, he is often recognized by other chefs in the business, who then go out of their way to impress us by sending out "specials." I've eaten just about everything- eel, soft shell crabs (eaten whole, in the shell, deep fried), sweetbreads (not what you think it is), corn smut, goat, and various organs and parts of animals that normal people don't eat. The husband makes me try everything and tells me to just not smell certain things.
What in your life is more important than money?
My family (sigh, cheesy answer I know)
When was the first time you saw the ocean?
I was born in a town that's on the Atlantic. Chances are good we drove by it on my way home from the hospital. I didn't see the Pacific until 2001.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Summer Vacation
All right- so the vacation
Seattle- you can tell there's lots of tech money in the area, as Frank put it "lots of chicks that rate an 8 or a 9 walking around with guys who rate a 3 or a 4" and the good looking guys were gay.- We went out for sushi with Adam. Went down to Pike Street market (watched the fish throwing), ate street food, and went to a Sox game- one they actually won! Drank a LOT. A city with a very high opinion of itself. Never have I seen so many dietary specialty items for regular purchase- it seemed like everything was "Gluten Free, Vegan, Soy Free and Tree Nut Free."
Train from Seattle to Portland- 3 hours. I was motion sick for most of it. Highlight was watching the couple on the other side of the aisle proceed to get wasted drinking Dewars and Root Beer- from a vintage suitcase they had turned into a portable bar. The girl of the couple wound up yelling at some chick who kept getting on her phone and whining to her parents, yelled something along the lines of "Can't you fucking read? There's no cell phone use in here." She was a sloshy mess when she yelled, so it was awesome.
Portland- Grittier than Seattle. Like if you took Providence RI and Fall River MA and squished them together to make one city. Industrial, lots of bridges. Good food scene. I could live there. There's a hippie vibe that was absent from both Seattle and San Francisco. A grid city, which was comforting.
Oregon Coast- gorgeous! Seriously the most breathtaking scenery I've ever seen. Pine rain forests with virgin growth pine trees that are 400+ years old and 50+ feet tall. The waves were crazy, and that's apparently just how they are. We went to Astoria so Frank could see the Goonies house (on his bucket list). We bought a $1 CD tour and listened to it for hours (because we couldn't get any radio station that was worth listening to in the rental). This is also when I figured out that Frank was totally lying to me about how long the damn drive would be from Portland to San Francisco- he totally undersold it to me by 300 miles. Also went to Tillamook for the tour- stupid except for the all-you-can-eat cheese samples.
Drive from Portland to Davis CA (home of UC Davis)- I gave up. We made it to an hour from Napa when he started to fall asleep at the wheel. Did our laundry- college towns are good for something. Had beer and pizza in a bar, left for Napa early. Long ass drive. Like 10 hours of boring. Mt Shasta has snow on it year round was about the only thing I found interesting.
Napa- Yeah, touristy in places. Gotta pick the good wineries, even if they charge more for a tasting, because the wines are hard to find out of state. We did Grigich Hills and Keenan wineries. Grigich poured us a glass of dessert wine that retails for $85 for a split (the small bottle 2.5 glasses), as part of our $20 per person tour- on top of the other 5 wines we were poured. Good value for the money. Driving through the town itself sucks- so do it once and be done- pick out your wineries so you move out from the center of town against the traffic.
San Francisco- By this time I was just exhausted. We did the piers, saw the sea lions, went to the chocolate factory, rode the cable car, walked through Chinatown, and everything. As a result, instead of getting up early on Saturday to spend a few extra hours in the city, we slept through our wake up, and didn't get to go back downtown. Flew out of SFO, and got home to a cat who missed us greatly.
This was probably the last of our expensive "just us" vacations for a few years. We have to go to Disney next year for sure (Land, not World), and we want to do an Alaska cruise, but we'll take the kids on that. That will fill up our next few years.
Seattle- you can tell there's lots of tech money in the area, as Frank put it "lots of chicks that rate an 8 or a 9 walking around with guys who rate a 3 or a 4" and the good looking guys were gay.- We went out for sushi with Adam. Went down to Pike Street market (watched the fish throwing), ate street food, and went to a Sox game- one they actually won! Drank a LOT. A city with a very high opinion of itself. Never have I seen so many dietary specialty items for regular purchase- it seemed like everything was "Gluten Free, Vegan, Soy Free and Tree Nut Free."
Train from Seattle to Portland- 3 hours. I was motion sick for most of it. Highlight was watching the couple on the other side of the aisle proceed to get wasted drinking Dewars and Root Beer- from a vintage suitcase they had turned into a portable bar. The girl of the couple wound up yelling at some chick who kept getting on her phone and whining to her parents, yelled something along the lines of "Can't you fucking read? There's no cell phone use in here." She was a sloshy mess when she yelled, so it was awesome.
Portland- Grittier than Seattle. Like if you took Providence RI and Fall River MA and squished them together to make one city. Industrial, lots of bridges. Good food scene. I could live there. There's a hippie vibe that was absent from both Seattle and San Francisco. A grid city, which was comforting.
Oregon Coast- gorgeous! Seriously the most breathtaking scenery I've ever seen. Pine rain forests with virgin growth pine trees that are 400+ years old and 50+ feet tall. The waves were crazy, and that's apparently just how they are. We went to Astoria so Frank could see the Goonies house (on his bucket list). We bought a $1 CD tour and listened to it for hours (because we couldn't get any radio station that was worth listening to in the rental). This is also when I figured out that Frank was totally lying to me about how long the damn drive would be from Portland to San Francisco- he totally undersold it to me by 300 miles. Also went to Tillamook for the tour- stupid except for the all-you-can-eat cheese samples.
Drive from Portland to Davis CA (home of UC Davis)- I gave up. We made it to an hour from Napa when he started to fall asleep at the wheel. Did our laundry- college towns are good for something. Had beer and pizza in a bar, left for Napa early. Long ass drive. Like 10 hours of boring. Mt Shasta has snow on it year round was about the only thing I found interesting.
Napa- Yeah, touristy in places. Gotta pick the good wineries, even if they charge more for a tasting, because the wines are hard to find out of state. We did Grigich Hills and Keenan wineries. Grigich poured us a glass of dessert wine that retails for $85 for a split (the small bottle 2.5 glasses), as part of our $20 per person tour- on top of the other 5 wines we were poured. Good value for the money. Driving through the town itself sucks- so do it once and be done- pick out your wineries so you move out from the center of town against the traffic.
San Francisco- By this time I was just exhausted. We did the piers, saw the sea lions, went to the chocolate factory, rode the cable car, walked through Chinatown, and everything. As a result, instead of getting up early on Saturday to spend a few extra hours in the city, we slept through our wake up, and didn't get to go back downtown. Flew out of SFO, and got home to a cat who missed us greatly.
This was probably the last of our expensive "just us" vacations for a few years. We have to go to Disney next year for sure (Land, not World), and we want to do an Alaska cruise, but we'll take the kids on that. That will fill up our next few years.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
In Which We Decide, as a Couple, to be A-Holes
A certain family member is getting married this Memorial Day weekend. My husband is in the wedding, I am just a guest at this wedding. My husband is only an usher in this wedding, so not a job that requires a lot of training- he's been an usher before, he knows how to ushe. So, anyways, this wedding is turning from a Wedding Day into a a Long Weekend Wedding Event. Husband is not happy about this. As a result, in a moment of rebellion, we have purchased sports tickets for the Friday before the wedding. This is rumored to be the night of the bachelor party. A party that my husband has no interest in attending (because this party most certainly will not feature breasts that aren't mine or excessive drinking, instead this is to be a night of cosmic bowling, video games and pitchers of cheap beer split 6 ways). The bride, as this is HER WEDDING, is rumored to be furious that we are not attending all events of this weekend. But truthfully, I don't care.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Not Really A Single Parent (But It Feels Like It)
My husband is a chef. He's been in kitchens since he was 14. It's the only job he's ever done in his life, and so far seems to be the only job he'll ever do. From the first time we even got together (at the ripe old age of 17) I knew that we wouldn't be one of those couples who would be home at the same time for most of the week. I was fine with that- I'm one of those people who likes to be alone at times and I thrive on setting myself in a regular routine. Up until 2009, my husband worked at stand alone restaurants or in the hotel industry. This meant that nights, weekends and holidays it was pretty much a lock that he'd be working and I'd be home alone with the kids. Again, I knew this when I signed up for the gig as wife of a chef.
In 2009, this changed. He went into corporate dining (for privacy's sake, I won't mention the name, but it's a big company). This meant a bigger salary, better benefits, and supposedly "more family time." As in, in theory, he works Monday-Friday, 6:00 AM to 5:00 PM (pretty normal hours for a corporate chef). In practice he works from 5:30 AM until 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, or even 9:00 at night. I would be fine with this if there was some sort of consistency. There's nothing worse in not knowing when he's going to be coming home. It sets the kids off- they always ask "when will Dad be home?" Sometimes he's home for dinner, sometimes he makes it home for goodnight stories and other times he doesn't get home until they are already asleep. In a way, I would rather he not be home until after they are in bed all the time. We have a routine, and when he comes home randomly, it just screws with the routine.
We had a talk about this issue this week. I honestly told him that I need him to be more consistent. And if he was going to be home after 6:30 but before 8:00, he should delay until after 8:00. This didn't go over well. But honestly, I can't deal with it. Dinner to Bedtime is awful in our house. Adding him to the mix randomly doesn't work.
In 2009, this changed. He went into corporate dining (for privacy's sake, I won't mention the name, but it's a big company). This meant a bigger salary, better benefits, and supposedly "more family time." As in, in theory, he works Monday-Friday, 6:00 AM to 5:00 PM (pretty normal hours for a corporate chef). In practice he works from 5:30 AM until 6:00, 7:00, 8:00, or even 9:00 at night. I would be fine with this if there was some sort of consistency. There's nothing worse in not knowing when he's going to be coming home. It sets the kids off- they always ask "when will Dad be home?" Sometimes he's home for dinner, sometimes he makes it home for goodnight stories and other times he doesn't get home until they are already asleep. In a way, I would rather he not be home until after they are in bed all the time. We have a routine, and when he comes home randomly, it just screws with the routine.
We had a talk about this issue this week. I honestly told him that I need him to be more consistent. And if he was going to be home after 6:30 but before 8:00, he should delay until after 8:00. This didn't go over well. But honestly, I can't deal with it. Dinner to Bedtime is awful in our house. Adding him to the mix randomly doesn't work.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
A to Z about Me!
I feel the need to stretch my writing muscles- too much reading, little to no writing. I'm also bad at just picking a random thing and going with it (and truthfully, my kids aren't that interesting right now so I can't imagine boring people with the trials and tribulations of 1st and 3rd grade homework gone awry).
So, to re-boot an old internet meme- I present the
A to Z
A. Age: 33
B. Bed size: Queen. It works for us. Neither of us is very large, and it discourages the children from camping in with us.
C. Chore that you hate: The stupid dishes. Why can't we just eat out of the pots and pans? Or eat everything off of tortillas? Those Mayans had the right idea.
D. Dogs: None. Just don't have the time, not that I'm anti-dog.
E. Essential start to your day: A shower without any interruptions- I will not settle arguments, tie shoes or pour you a drink while I'm in the shower. The door has a lock for a reason- yelling through it or sticking your fingers underneath it will not help your cause.
F. Favorite color: Blue
G. Gold or silver: Silver
H. Height: 5' 4"- the average height of an American Woman
I. Instruments that you play: I took years of piano, played the sax in elementary school, but I don't think any of it has stuck around in my brain
J. Job title: Office Manager (fancy way of saying "Doing the shit in the office that no one else wants to do, in order to keep the place running)
K. Kids: Adeline- almost 9, Anaya- 7, Avery- 4.5 (my girls are fantastic, most of the time)
L. Live: Phoenix Metro area
M. Mother's name: Ma
N. Nicknames: KB, Rah
O. Overnight hospital stays: 3 births- all c-sections (one emergency, the other two scheduled, because, if I already had the scar tissue, I sure as hell wasn't pushing a baby out of my vagina by choice)
P. Pet peeves: People opening cabinets and not closing them. How fricking difficult is it to close the damn door???
Q. Quote from a movie: She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen. (Say Anything)
R: Right or left handed: Right
S: Siblings: 2 younger brothers, 1 younger sister
T. Treat you adore: A really cold, strong margarita while sitting poolside. Or my Mom's apple pie
U. Underwear: cotton
V. Vegetable(s) you hate: Peas, cabbage, broccoli
W. What makes you run late: Getting everyone out the door on time is almost impossible. I pad my time by trying to leave 30 minutes before I actually need to do so.
X. X-rays you've had: Arm- fell down the stairs and my elbow swelled up, turns out it was just a bone bruise. Teeth and jaw at the dentist- one of those cool ones that go all the way around your head
Y. Yummy food that you make: I'm a pretty damned good cook. Pork carnitas. Apple pie. Chocolate chip cookies. Quiche. Risotto. I know my way around the kitchen, and I'm not ashamed to say so.
Z. Zoo animal: Otters. The monkeys with the red butts. Hippos. Zoos are awesome. Unless you go with my husband who walks around with you telling you exactly how he'd cook a specific animal and what he thinks it tastes like.
So, to re-boot an old internet meme- I present the
A to Z
A. Age: 33
B. Bed size: Queen. It works for us. Neither of us is very large, and it discourages the children from camping in with us.
C. Chore that you hate: The stupid dishes. Why can't we just eat out of the pots and pans? Or eat everything off of tortillas? Those Mayans had the right idea.
D. Dogs: None. Just don't have the time, not that I'm anti-dog.
E. Essential start to your day: A shower without any interruptions- I will not settle arguments, tie shoes or pour you a drink while I'm in the shower. The door has a lock for a reason- yelling through it or sticking your fingers underneath it will not help your cause.
F. Favorite color: Blue
G. Gold or silver: Silver
H. Height: 5' 4"- the average height of an American Woman
I. Instruments that you play: I took years of piano, played the sax in elementary school, but I don't think any of it has stuck around in my brain
J. Job title: Office Manager (fancy way of saying "Doing the shit in the office that no one else wants to do, in order to keep the place running)
K. Kids: Adeline- almost 9, Anaya- 7, Avery- 4.5 (my girls are fantastic, most of the time)
L. Live: Phoenix Metro area
M. Mother's name: Ma
N. Nicknames: KB, Rah
O. Overnight hospital stays: 3 births- all c-sections (one emergency, the other two scheduled, because, if I already had the scar tissue, I sure as hell wasn't pushing a baby out of my vagina by choice)
P. Pet peeves: People opening cabinets and not closing them. How fricking difficult is it to close the damn door???
Q. Quote from a movie: She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen. (Say Anything)
R: Right or left handed: Right
S: Siblings: 2 younger brothers, 1 younger sister
T. Treat you adore: A really cold, strong margarita while sitting poolside. Or my Mom's apple pie
U. Underwear: cotton
V. Vegetable(s) you hate: Peas, cabbage, broccoli
W. What makes you run late: Getting everyone out the door on time is almost impossible. I pad my time by trying to leave 30 minutes before I actually need to do so.
X. X-rays you've had: Arm- fell down the stairs and my elbow swelled up, turns out it was just a bone bruise. Teeth and jaw at the dentist- one of those cool ones that go all the way around your head
Y. Yummy food that you make: I'm a pretty damned good cook. Pork carnitas. Apple pie. Chocolate chip cookies. Quiche. Risotto. I know my way around the kitchen, and I'm not ashamed to say so.
Z. Zoo animal: Otters. The monkeys with the red butts. Hippos. Zoos are awesome. Unless you go with my husband who walks around with you telling you exactly how he'd cook a specific animal and what he thinks it tastes like.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Things that are Older Than Arizona
Today, Arizona celebrates 100 years of statehood. Congratulations Arizona, for being the 48th state, the last to be admitted into the contiguous States of the Union. I suppose the reason why it took so long is that no one really wanted Arizona. I mean, sure, we were willing to give the land to the Native Americans after we forced them off their tribal lands, but actual statehood? Come on now. So, in honor of this milestone, I've put together a list of Things that are Older Than Arizona
1. My hometown- Weymouth, MA- settled in 1630, incorporated in 1635. Way older than Arizona.
2. The Boston Red Sox- established in 1901 (named the Red Sox in 1908)
3. Anne of Green Gables novels- published in 1908, arguably the first "young adult" novels written
4. Boy Scouts of America- established 1910
5. Crayola Crayons- 1885
6. Theory of Relativity- 1905
7. Vaccines- 1796
8. Groundhog's Day- 1886
9. Methuselah- a Great Basin Bristlecone Pine Tree in California- 4,843 years old, still living
10. George the Lobster- born 1896, released back into the wild in 2009, presumed to still be living
Obviously this list is not all inclusive. Many other things are older than 100 years old.
1. My hometown- Weymouth, MA- settled in 1630, incorporated in 1635. Way older than Arizona.
2. The Boston Red Sox- established in 1901 (named the Red Sox in 1908)
3. Anne of Green Gables novels- published in 1908, arguably the first "young adult" novels written
4. Boy Scouts of America- established 1910
5. Crayola Crayons- 1885
6. Theory of Relativity- 1905
7. Vaccines- 1796
8. Groundhog's Day- 1886
9. Methuselah- a Great Basin Bristlecone Pine Tree in California- 4,843 years old, still living
10. George the Lobster- born 1896, released back into the wild in 2009, presumed to still be living
Obviously this list is not all inclusive. Many other things are older than 100 years old.
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