Wednesday, June 12, 2013

So You Want To Get A Job?

The company I work for frequently gets walk-ins who are looking for a job. With these people in mind, I have put together a helpful list of items/pitfalls to avoid that potential job applicants might find useful.

  1. Be sober. Don't come looking for a job application when you are drunk or high. Especially if you come in at 8 in the morning. If you can't be 100% sober, at least don't use whiskey as a mouth wash. If I feel like I'm getting a contact high from the fumes emanating from your body, your application will be shredded as soon as you leave the office.
  2. Wear shoes. Now, I know you CAN wear bedroom slippers outside of your home when they have some sort of substantial soles, but it doesn't mean you should. 
  3. Know what the company does. For example, I work for a landscape company. We don't have any job openings for waiters.
  4. Don't bring your Mom in to fill out your application. If you can't put your name and phone number on a piece of paper without Mom's help, we won't be trusting you with big pieces of machinery with sharp blades.
  5. (Maybe 4a?) Mom is not your best choice for a reference. But, surprisingly, your Probation Officer is a good choice.
  6. Don't complain about how long it took you to get to the office. You'll be starting and ending each work day at this office, so if it bothers you so much, find someplace closer to your house to apply.
  7. Don't complain about how hot you got just walking down the street. This is a labor intensive job, done OUTSIDE. You don't like the heat, move to another state. 
  8. If you must bring your children along to pick up an application, at least be in control of them. Don't let them wander around the office unsupervised or let them trash the bathroom. 
  9. You might think your hat with a pot leaf on it is a good look. It's not.
  10. Don't have a phone argument while you're sitting in the waiting area. Calling someone on the phone a "crazy bitch" and yelling other obscenities at her isn't giving us the best opinion of you. 
This list shouldn't be considered the be all, end all of all How To Get A Job blogs, but I'd like to think it's been helpful in just a little way. 

1 comment:

  1. 11: Crocs and shorts are not the best choices for an interview outfit.
    12: No food or beverages during the interview.
    13: Do not chew gum. I don't care if you are asking for an application or are here for an interview, do not chew gum.