What’s your very earliest childhood memory?

This is part of Ginger's Bring Back The Words Prompts

I'm not taking part in this on a regular basis, but my Earliest Childhood Memory is really specific, and strange, so I thought I'd share with you all.

My earliest childhood memory is from when I was about 3 years old. We apparently went to Disney World for the first time (I've seen pictures, I was there for sure). But, the only thing I remember is getting off the plane and walking across the tarmac. It was so hot, and the smell of asphalt was so strong! I remember nothing about Disney- this is why I've waited so long to take my own kids, I'm not dropping thousands of dollars on a trip I'll hate and they'll not remember. But I remember walking across the tarmac.

I really don't remember much about my childhood. Honestly. There are a few memories that stand out, but things are pretty blurry until maybe 10 or 12 years old. At the same time, certain things will trigger very clear memories of very specific events when I was much younger than 10 or 12. For example, when we buried my grandfather in 1998, I got a very clear flash of going to that very same cemetery with him. We- my brother and I- were playing around the graves, and I remember watching my grandfather plant flowers on his mother's grave. I was only 4 or 5. I can remember what I wore that day. What we ate for dinner. What he wore that day. But I can't remember Christmas of that year. It's strange.

So You Want To Get A Job?

The company I work for frequently gets walk-ins who are looking for a job. With these people in mind, I have put together a helpful list of items/pitfalls to avoid that potential job applicants might find useful.

1. Be sober. Don't come looking for a job application when you are drunk or high. Especially if you come in at 8 in the morning. If you can't be 100% sober, at least don't use whiskey as a mouth wash. If I feel like I'm getting a contact high from the fumes emanating from your body, your application will be shredded as soon as you leave the office.
2. Wear shoes. Now, I know you CAN wear bedroom slippers outside of your home when they have some sort of substantial soles, but it doesn't mean you should. 
3. Know what the company does. For example, I work for a landscape company. We don't have any job openings for waiters.
4. Don't bring your Mom in to fill out your application. If you can't put your name and phone number on a piece of paper without Mom's help, we won't be trusting you with big pieces of machinery with sharp blades.
5. (Maybe 4a?) Mom is not your best choice for a reference. But, surprisingly, your Probation Officer is a good choice.
6. Don't complain about how long it took you to get to the office. You'll be starting and ending each work day at this office, so if it bothers you so much, find someplace closer to your house to apply.
7. Don't complain about how hot you got just walking down the street. This is a labor intensive job, done OUTSIDE. You don't like the heat, move to another state. 
8. If you must bring your children along to pick up an application, at least be in control of them. Don't let them wander around the office unsupervised or let them trash the bathroom. 
9. You might think your hat with a pot leaf on it is a good look. It's not.
10. Don't have a phone argument while you're sitting in the waiting area. Calling someone on the phone a "crazy bitch" and yelling other obscenities at her isn't giving us the best opinion of you. 

This list shouldn't be considered the be all, end all of all How To Get A Job blogs, but I'd like to think it's been helpful in just a little way. 

Is There An Emoticon for Slightly Homicidal?

I had a quick trip this weekend to Massachusetts. Left on Thursday night, came home to Phoenix on Sunday night. After yesterday's flight I was feeling slightly homicidal. I had to go into the airport an hour early, because my aunt's flight was an hour before mine, and it wouldn't be fair to my parents to make them do the Logan drive twice. That wasn't so bad- hung out at Boston Beer Works, and watched the hockey game.

Then, I get on the plane. I'm next to this Alzheimer's patient and her caregiver. The patient is freaking out about something, and proceeded to have loud verbal outbursts and panic attacks the entire flight. Honestly, it was really bad. And, this was their return trip home to Phoenix. This woman was in no shape to be flying, and whoever ok'd the flight in the first place screwed up. Noise cancelling headphones can only do so much.

Behind me was a very tall man. I couldn't put my seat back, because of his legs. No big deal. He asked me nicely, I complied. However, that didn't stop him from digging his knees into the back of my seat every 15-20 minutes during the last two hours of the flight. Somewhere over Colorado I turned around to him and called him out on it. Then when he wouldn't stop, I got passive aggressive and pushed back against him whenever he moved his knees. We're probably both bruised this morning, and I know that had I been a man and a foot taller, he probably would have punched me outside of the airport. As it was he called me a bitch and I told him to fuck off at the luggage carousel.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy I was able to get back for the weekend, but damn, I'm sore and tired this morning!

Kid's Writing Prompt

My kindergartener's teacher does a daily writing prompt with them, just to have them get in the habit of writing sentences. I got the April booklet home yesterday, and I was looking at them with my daughter. My favorite was "If I Won a Lot of Money." Avery's response was classic Avery:

If i wone alot of mony i wold bue a car. Becus mom is meen and wont bue me a car.
Translation: If I won a lot of money, I would buy a car. Because Mom is mean and won't buy me a car.

Avery is 5. We've not yet had the car discussion with her. I don't know where her response came from. I clarified with her that she meant a car to drive, not a play car. So, she still has 11 years before that happens. My husband and I died laughing at this one. The logic and scheming of this child is frightening. She will probably rule the world one day.

Birthday Party Goodie Bags

Dear Readers-
Last weekend, I made a shocking and momentous decision. I refused to spend an ungodly amount of money on goodie bags for my daughter's 10th birthday. Now, I know what you're thinking "But how did you manage that? Did you not care what the **other** parents will say about you? Do you want your daughter's friends to think you are a cheapskate?" And, the truth is- everyone can go fuck off.

The birthday party itself put us back about $250. But it was $250 well spent. My three kids and a dozen of my daughter's friends went bowling. Two hours of unlimited bowling, pizza, soda and a cake. The best part was NO ONE CAME TO MY HOUSE. Yup, I didn't have to clean a thing. And, there was a definite start and end time, so I wasn't stuck with extra kids for extra hours. On top of that, built in activity! So I didn't have to plan anything. Greatest birthday party ever.

Then, the gift bags. I don't know about you, but extravagant goodie bags seem to be the norm out here. Probably $5-$10 per kid, per bag. That's ridiculous. And, my kids (and probably yours) do not need piles of candy and crappy plastic toys. Toys that break on the way home, or are abandoned in the family room two minutes after they get home, and I have to throw them away without the kid seeing or much drama ensues. So, I bucked the trend. The birthday package included bowling pin shaped goodie bags. I got some, not much, candy on clearance at Walmart. Gave each kid 6 pieces of snack size candies- Milky Way, Butterfinger and Take5- and that was IT. I'm done with extravagant goodie bags. Done with them.

Please parents, join me in the goodie bag revolution! No more crappy plastic toys! No more pounds of candy!

Stand Strong!
New England Girl

Google Reader- So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish

Apparently, Google Reader is shutting down in July 2013. This makes me very sadface. But, in the mean time, it will give me a chance to check out some of the RSS readers out there. I'm starting with Bloglovin. Mostly because it's trending on Twitter today, and I am nothing if not a follower.

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/5174963/?claim=xgw6bwwm8ak">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Why I'm Happy Today- February 12th Edition

I weighed myself on Sunday, and since New Years, I'm down 9 lbs. Now, that doesn't seems like a lot, but it's actually the first time that hasn't involved child birth, that I've managed to lose more than 1 or 2 lbs. Not only that, but I put on a pair of size 14 jeans this weekend- first time in a LONG time.

What I'm Doing Right- eating more vegetables, eating less carbs. Going for walks or jogs 2-3 times a week- averaging 16 minute miles. Drinking lots of water. Bringing lunch from home to the office helps too. No drive through foods.

What I Need to Improve- I still crave carbs, especially in the mornings. Oatmeal is better than a bagel, but not much. I need to eat more protein in the morning, because in the long run, it's more filling. I need to be more active. 3 miles 2 or 3 times a week is great, but it should be more like 3 miles 4-5 times a week. I'd like to get my mile time down to 10 minutes by the end of April.