Sunday Stealing (Done on Monday, Because That's How I Roll)

From here : Sunday Stealing

1) What side of the heart do you draw first?
Left. Not sure why.

2) Can you dive without plugging your nose?
Yes. I was on the swim team in High School, if you can believe it, and I was actually quite good.

3) What color is your razor?
Black. It's some type of disposable, and I really need to replace it, since I took off most of my shin this weekend.

4) What is your blood-type?
B-positive. Meaning I'm at less of a risk for sickle cell anemia, and that it's a somewhat rare blood type for white people like me.

5) Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Oprah. Because, well, she's Oprah.

6) What is a rumor someone has spread about you?
Well, I graduated High School in 1996, so I really can't remember crap that happened way back when.

7) How do you feel about carrots?
Love them in many forms

8) How many chairs at the dining room table?
10. We have a huge ass table.

9) Which is the best Spice Girl?
Scary Spice

10) Do you know what time it is?
9:25 AM Arizona Time

11) Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince Theme Song?
Probably. "the license plate said fresh and there were dice on the mirror"

12) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
Hit the emergency button and then hope that there was a signal on my cell phone.

13) What’s your favorite kind of gum?
Wintergreen

14) All’s fair in love and war?
It is what it is.

15) Do you have a crush on anyone?
Many. See #5

16) Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
Huh?

17) Do you like to sleep?
Sometimes. But I get insomnia in the winter.

18) Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings time?
Yes, because I live in one.

19) Do you know the words to the song Total Eclipse of the Heart?
Probably not.

20) Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?
No. I don't think Mustangs have been good looking since the 60's. And, while it might be easier to find a yellow car in a parking lot, I don't really want to own one.

Things I Want to Do in 2013

These are not resolutions. I don't like resolutions. Let's consider these goals.

1. Eat better. Track calories - Sparkpeople has a fantastic, easy to use app for all smartphones. I already have it on my phone. I just need to USE IT DAILY.

2. Stop spending money on stupid things. The kids have enough crap, they don't need a $10 toy just because we went to Target because we were bored. They also have enough clothes to clothe a small European nation, and don't need any more shirts no matter how much they complain. I also do not need any more black t-shirts, even if I do wear them every single day.

3. Dress like a grown-up. Even though "stupid spending" has just been banned (see above), I need to actually have a grown-up wardrobe. A pair of dark wash jeans and a black t-shirt are not "business casual." Even with a black sweater over the mess, it's still not "business casual." Invest in shoes that I'll actually wear that aren't sneakers or flip-flops. The faux Tom's from Target can be cute, but are they grown-up?

4. Menu planning. This helps out 1 and 2 above. In that it makes me eat better, makes me pack lunches ahead of time, and saves money in the long run, since I won't be going to Fresh & Easy on my way home and grabbing pre-packaged dinner options.

5. Learn a new cooking skill. I'm a decent cook. This year, I want to learn how to pickle vegetables. I fricking love pickled carrots, pickled cauliflower, pickled beets, etc. If I could figure out how to do this, think of the healthy snacking options I'd have on hand!

6. Get more active. Walk/run at least three times a week. Consider joining a gym, even though have a phobia of the machines, want to do water aerobics. Maybe the Y has them? Look into it.

My Word for 2013

So there's this thing where you pick a single word to use as your mantra for the year. My word has to be Balance. Balance between work and home is the main focus. I need to spend more time at home, and less time at work. I need to devote more of my energy to home and not to work. I've been slacking, and feeling guilty.

Now, I was going to be an asshole and say that my word for the year was perestroika. But actually, the literal meaning of perestroika is "restructuring" and that's actually a pretty cool concept. Perestroika isn't a bad mantra for 2013, if you think about it.

Another asshole word I considered was defenestration. Consider it, if you will, making your mantra of 2013 a word that means "the act of throwing something out a window."

Another word I considered was quincunx- five objects arranged in a square formation with one at each corner and one in the middle.

Do you have a mantra word?

Things I've Learned About Men

I'm not a self proclaimed expert by any means, but these are some of the things I've learned about men, from living with my man since 1999.

1. Don't get mad at him when he buys you a toaster oven for Christmas. He bought it because you've been bitching about the broken one for the past two months, and he believed the toaster oven was a thoughtful gift.

2. If you want something specific, tell him where to get it and the size and color you want. Even better, find it online, set up a shopping cart and tell him to push the "Purchase Now" button.

3. He will have a favorite shirt. It might date back to high school. Do not mock this shirt. It will make him feel bad.

4. The cat will always be YOUR cat. Even if he calls the cat his "Furry Buddy" and carries him around on his shoulder.

5. He will probably have ridiculous superstitions and rituals regarding watching "his" sports team.

6. He won't notice that the bathroom mirror is covered with spots and streaks, but his truck will be spotless.

7. Speaking of the truck, the children won't be allowed to eat or drink anything inside it, but will be fed Doritos and orange Fanta in the minivan, because it doesn't matter if the van gets stains.

8. He will throw the child in the air and catch her. This will terrify you. Just look away. 99% of the time, he'll catch her.

9. Fruit is not a normal part of his diet.

Monday News

Still working on that whole "Story Of Us" post...it will come!

But, some levity -

I went to the dermatologist on Monday and was informed that I have a mole on my ass. And, not only that, I probably should get it removed. Considering I don't exactly walk around outside bare-assed, it's strange that I have one in that location. Frank's response "Oh, yeah, that's been there for awhile."

Division of Labor

I totally stole this from The Diniwilks. I think it's fascinating to see how families function differently.

Child care: I make the decisions for child care. This part of life is mostly over now that the kids are in school full time (thank god). They just stay at school at the after school care until either Frank or I can get them before 6 PM. And a lot of the time we're racing to get there at 5:55 PM because of traffic or work issues or whatever. We actually need to find a baby sitter for night times, but no luck right now. In a few more years, we won't even need that. We also luck out in that the kids spend 5-6 weeks in the summer with my parents. It's great for everyone- the kids get to spend the summer on the beach, we get to pretend that we don't have kids for the summer. It's like sending the kids to sleep-away camp, except they're staying with grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Newborn care (bonus historical category): I did the bare minimum of 6 weeks with all three kids. And, I was stir crazy and wanting to get out of the house by 3 weeks. Frank took a week with the first child, and two weeks with the next two. He used to work PM swing, so he'd actually get to hang out with the kids in the mornings while I went to work. Then, I'd be alone at night with the kids. He generally got home in time to do the middle of the night feeding- between 11 PM and 1 AM he'd usually have a baby with him on the couch. It meant that I never really had to be a Zombie Mommy, because I got at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night even from the very beginning (yes, I breastfed, but we depended on bottles for that middle of the night feeding). My husband got to the point where he could basically change a diaper while asleep. 

Time off (bonus category): My husband works insane hours now- 12-16 hour days. I don't get a "time off" day. But, again the kids are old enough that we can sleep in on the weekends and the kids can occupy themselves. 

Work: We both work full time. My job is a traditional office job 8 AM - 5 PM. His is in the food service industry, so he works 6 AM to 6 PM or 8 PM. A 60 hour week is STANDARD for his position. 

Food: I do 95% of the grocery shopping, because I do 95% of the cooking. I make the meal plans so I pick the food that we eat.

Housecleaning: Frank does 90% of the cleaning. He does the laundry, the dishes, mops and vacuums the floors, puts away clothes, organizes and trashes clutter, changes bedsheets and just about everything in between. I clean the bathrooms- that's the one thing he won't do.

House decorating (bonus category): Mostly Frank. We have the same tastes- simple, clean lines, neutral colors. He likes to change out the art on our walls. He gets a bug up his ass about painting rooms, etc. My only request is that we have only white linens on our bed (I know, it's weird, but I only like white sheets and white down comforters).

Yard work: The front yard is xeriscaped so that there's minimal upkeep. The backyard gets mowed once a month or so, and I keep the pool from going green.

Communications: That's all me. I have to remind my husband to call his parents on their birthdays. We have a synched Google calendar to keep us on the same page, and a huge calendar on the pantry door that appointments, soccer games, girl scouts, tutoring and meetings and stuff are written on .

Finances: We both have individual accounts and a joint account. The joint account pays the household bills, and we each have fuck off money in our single accounts. Fuck off money is the money we keep separate from each other so we can buy the impractical things we want without having to get into a fight about it. As is "I don't care if you hate this, I bought it from my own money, so fuck off." Frank carries the family insurance plans, because his company is HUGE and they have a wonderful Cadillac plan for a reasonable price (I don't skimp on health or dental coverage, I want EVERYTHING). 

Activities: We take turns. Frank is great at planning the logistics of the big trips, I do more of the local stuff. I'm more of a "just tell me when to show up" type of person, he likes to plan things out so we don't miss anything. We do a lot of free and cheap activities on my watch- like Art Walks, Christmas tree lighting, visiting parks and getting ice cream. We go to a lot of baseball games in season, because it's a cheap family outing. Luckily the kids are easily amused and travel well. The kids have flown cross country so many times that they're pros and don't even get excited about it any more.

Who wears the pants (bonus category): I'm the boss. Just ask the kids. 

I think we're lucky in that we've lived together now for 14 years (and we're only 34 years old). We had five years without kids to figure out how to function as a team before we added the stress of kids to the household. Well before the kids, I knew I'd be alone a lot at night, just due to the job field that my husband is in. 

 

As of today, my husband and I have been monogamous for 17 years. Fully half of our lifetimes, and all of our adult years. I plan on doing a "story of us" type post later on, when I can get some of our old pictures together.  

Feel free to steal this! I think it's a great topic. Link below if you plan on doing a division of labor post.

Thus is the saga of the Chicken Parmesan Sandwich

I grew up on the east coast where Chicken Parmesan sandwiches are plentiful and abundant, even stereotypically available on every menu. While not my favorite sandwich, I would have the odd craving once or twice a year. A craving that was easily remedied by going into just about any place that served food and getting a piece of this delicious treat. This culinary treat has been impossible to find in Arizona. I've gone so far as to explain to sub shop employees how it's made:

Typical Conversation:
Me: I want a Chicken Parmesan sandwich
Sub Man: I don't know what that is.
Me: I want a breaded chicken sandwich.
Sub Man: OK, what do you want on that?
Me: Tomato sauce and cheese, toasted please
Sub Man: Sorry, we can't do that.
Me: But you have sauce, I can see it, just take the sauce from the meatballs, and put it on the chicken. Put a piece of provolone on it, and toast it.
Sub Man: I can put the cheese on it and toast it. But I can't put the sauce on it.
Me: OK, then I want a meatball sandwich, without the meatballs.
Sub Man: So just sauce and cheese?
Me: Yes
Sub Man: OK, what do you want on that?
Me: Breaded chicken
Sub Man: I can't do that.

And so ends the saga of the Chicken Parmesan Sandwich.